“Along with the
physical side of his training, he is given a variety of skills learnt during
his sleep through audio manuals pertaining to being a top-notch airline pilot,
language expert, and safecracker, amongst many other things.” (Review by Barry Meehan)
The title of this James Patterson and Brian Sitts collaboration is a complete spoiler second to none. A meek and mild college professor gets abducted off the street by a beautiful copper-haired woman, who then proceeds to turn him into ... you guessed it – the perfect assassin.
The unfortunate part of this novel is that the reader has to plough through 182 pages (out of 316, well over half the book) before we get an answer as to “Why?” And those 182 pages are a continual bounce from the present-day in Chicago to 30 years back in Eastern Russia, as we are subjected to details of her training from her baby years and onwards as she is turned into a multi-functional, zombie-like killing machine by a secret cabal that wants to take control of the world using her and a seemingly inexhaustible supply of young adults, all kidnapped as babies, to carry out assassinations worldwide for their own nefarious ends.
Her training over the years is interspersed with the college professor’s as he is put through a fitness and body-building regime by her (without being allowed to ask any questions) to turn him into the killing machine of the title. He is kept locked up in a loft, chained up when she goes out, and fed only health foods prepared by her. Along with the physical side of his training, he is given a variety of skills learnt during his sleep through audio manuals pertaining to being a top-notch airline pilot, language expert, and safecracker, amongst many other things. Weapons and explosives training are also part of his daily routine, along with a series of progress tests, most of which would kill any normal man. But, by the end of his training, the professor is no normal man, but an almost superhuman being with an incredible physique, able to stop a bullet penetrating his body.
If this is sounding a tad far-fetched to you, it is nothing compared to part two of the book, which suspends belief as it presents one ludicrous plot point after the other. I won’t mention too many, as you might want to have a good chuckle at them yourself, but try just this one for size:
• The two of
them steal an executive jet and head to Russia to put an end to the evil cabal
operating their “school” there. He suddenly knows how to pilot the plane (one
of his sleep-learning sessions), but it gets shot down into the ocean. He comes
to in the water and swims to a nearby iceberg, which (fortunately) turns out to
have been man-made some many years previously by dim and distant relatives.
Once inside, he is alerted by a banging noise coming from underneath the
iceberg. It turns out to be a submarine, which he then pilots to his
destination (another skill he learnt while asleep) and then .......
If the paragraph above is the sort of plot you can believe and even enjoy, then get your copy of The Perfect Assassin, otherwise, steer well clear. As for myself, I have taken the decision to only pick up a James Patterson novel when his name - and his name alone - is on the cover as the author. – Barry Meehan
The Perfect Assassin is published by CENTURY, PENGUIN RANDOM HOUSE UK : ISBN 978-1-529-13659-6
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