If you’re into this sort of very steamy and graphic
romance, then The Mister might just
appeal to you. If you’re not, then this isn’t the novel for you (or me!)
(Review by Barry Meehan)
“Mindless sex – there’s a lot to be said for it. No
commitments, no expectations, and no disappointments. I just have to remember
their names. Who was it last time? Jojo? Jeanne? Jody? Whatever/ She was some
nameless fuck who moaned a great deal both in and out of bed. I lie staring at
the rippling reflections from the Thames on my ceiling, unable to sleep. Too
restless to sleep.
Tonight it’s Caroline. She doesn’t fit the
nameless-fuck category. She’ll never fit. What the hell was I thinking?”
So reads the opening of the first chapter of The
Mister, the latest offering from E L James, author of the Fifty Shades Trilogy. The thoughts
quoted belong to good-looking, aristocratic Maxim Trevelyan, who has never had
to work a day in his life, except for the hard work he puts in as a rake or roué,
whichever term you prefer. Within the first three chapters of this novel, he
beds three different women, one of whom is the widow of his recently-deceased
brother, killed in a motorcycle accident. Maxim has just inherited the title of
Earl of Trevethick, along with all the properties and responsibilities that go
with it, so his life has to change dramatically.
It changes even more dramatically than even he
envisaged, when a new cleaner arrives one morning. Enter Alessia Demachi, a
modern-day Barbara Cartland heroine if ever there was one, fresh in England
from her native Albania, pure as the driven snow, and a musical prodigy to
boot, able to play piano concertos without needing the sheet music. She
accidentally sees him naked (face down on his bed, fortunately) when she
arrives to clean his London flat, and is immediately smitten, her heart
pounding as she takes in his “fine face, straight nose, full lips, broad
shoulders, muscular arms and pale, taut backside.”
He only notices that he has a new daily when he
gets up, and is immediately unsettled. “Wide eyes, the colour of a fine
espresso and framed by the longest lashes I’ve ever seen, look up at me, then
back at the floor.
Look at me, I will her. I want to reach forward and
tilt her chin up, but as if she reads my mind, she raises her head. Her eyes
meet mine, and her tongue darts out, and nervously she licks her upper lip. My
whole body tightens in a hot, heavy rush as desire hits me like a demolition
ball.
Fuck a duck!
All of the above takes place by page 45 of the
novel (of 522) and it takes quite a while for the two of them to get it
together, which they finally do in a 12-page love scene. And because it’s so
hot and so good, they do it again and again …. and again and again!
You might think that this is all there is to the
book, but no – there are also nasty Albanian villains aplenty from Alessia’s
troubled past. Just who is she, and why is she in London, penniless? Can Maxim
protect her from her past demons?
If you’re into this sort of very steamy and graphic
romance, then “The Mister” might just appeal to you. If you’re not, then this
isn’t the novel for you (or me!) – Barry Meehan
The Mister
is published by Vintage Books. ISBN
978-1-787-46360-8
Posts
